My friend invited me to a house warming party at his new place. He invited 30 people, 8 of whom showed up. One of his friends was a very nice female who looked like a super model. She sat in the laps of some of her friends.
One of the guys who was there, who I assume did not know her, sat in her seat as soon as she got up. She turned around and told him that is her seat. He then grabbed her by the arm and pulled her into her lap, telling her, "because I want you to sit here." She briefly resisted with a very short verbal and physical protest, but then gave up and sat there a while.
I thought what he did was wrong, and contemplated saying something. At the time, I wonder if her resignation was in part because none of the 5 men and 2 women at the table spoke up for her. I was afraid to speak up and risk spoiling the party mood in case I was actually reading into the situation too much. I suspect I carry very little rank as far as being invited, and that my friend was lucky to get some people to come over. Maybe others felt as incapable. Maybe even she wondered if she was overreacting and did not want to spoil the party either. Maybe she now has a bad taste in her mouth about all of us, thinking we thought it was OK. Or maybe I'm just reading into all of this.
I saw her at the grocery store last night and could have told her my opinion then, but I did not think of it at the time. I really wish I had. There would have been no risk then, and at least she would have known she had support.
What do you think?
I'll at least tell my friend about it.
The guy who did this was a drunk, short middle easterner, I think. Actually, I don't remember which of 4 guys he was. I can only narrow it down to the 3. All had average physical appearance. I doubt he was her type, but I also think she was physically strong enough to fight him off if she really wanted to then. She is 5'8", athletic, and white, but also only 19.
I was proud of myself for having brought several non-alcoholic fruit drinks and seeing her drinking them. She did not know it, but I bought them just for her, since my friend told me she would be there.
One of the guys who was there, who I assume did not know her, sat in her seat as soon as she got up. She turned around and told him that is her seat. He then grabbed her by the arm and pulled her into her lap, telling her, "because I want you to sit here." She briefly resisted with a very short verbal and physical protest, but then gave up and sat there a while.
I thought what he did was wrong, and contemplated saying something. At the time, I wonder if her resignation was in part because none of the 5 men and 2 women at the table spoke up for her. I was afraid to speak up and risk spoiling the party mood in case I was actually reading into the situation too much. I suspect I carry very little rank as far as being invited, and that my friend was lucky to get some people to come over. Maybe others felt as incapable. Maybe even she wondered if she was overreacting and did not want to spoil the party either. Maybe she now has a bad taste in her mouth about all of us, thinking we thought it was OK. Or maybe I'm just reading into all of this.
I saw her at the grocery store last night and could have told her my opinion then, but I did not think of it at the time. I really wish I had. There would have been no risk then, and at least she would have known she had support.
What do you think?
I'll at least tell my friend about it.
The guy who did this was a drunk, short middle easterner, I think. Actually, I don't remember which of 4 guys he was. I can only narrow it down to the 3. All had average physical appearance. I doubt he was her type, but I also think she was physically strong enough to fight him off if she really wanted to then. She is 5'8", athletic, and white, but also only 19.
I was proud of myself for having brought several non-alcoholic fruit drinks and seeing her drinking them. She did not know it, but I bought them just for her, since my friend told me she would be there.
Should I have intervened at a party the other night?